As I’ve eluded to in the past, I live with a mental illness that makes depression a regular part of my life. When these episodes occur, it can be very difficult to do simple things. It also becomes easy to pile guilt up in my life for not doing these things. One of my greatest points of guilt comes when I cannot give my cats, my “furbabies,” everything that I usually can. My poor little Paul loves going outside for walks everyday, but when I am not my very best self, this is one of the first things to go. I feel guilty not being able to provide for him all the enrichment he desires, but this guilt helps no one, not Paul and not me.
 
While I am not a parent and in no way would compare my cats to real children, it did get my thinking about the struggles I witness as my sisters strive to be the very best moms they can be. We all want to be a perfect parent, but this just isn’t a reality. We can only strive to be the best, but not be discouraged by the fact that we will never be perfect.
 
Sometimes, it may be easy to provide our children with the very best. Taking them to zoos or museums, scheduling family game night, and allowing them time with good and holy friends. However, this cannot be the standard we hold ourselves up to be all of the time. It just isn’t realistic. Life happens, and we need to be willing to go with the punches. Now, I’m not trying to say we should set the bar low, I just want to encourage you and I to live in a world where we aren’t controlled by our guilt. This is what makes us suffer in our role as parents, grandparents, wives, husbands, aunts, and uncles.
 
Guilt can drive us down a bad path. Guilt can be helpful when we have formed a good conscience and it drives us away from sin, but this often isn’t the case. Think about it, when you are feeling guilty, it can separate you from the people who make you feel that guilt. It makes it even more difficult to achieve what we desire. Guilt doesn’t only hurt ourselves, it makes us distance from others and hurts all those we love.
 
While it may not be as enjoyable to not always be at our best, when we accept this fact, we can become even greater caregivers. We are brought more to holiness by doing simple things like cooking a family meal, praying together, and taking time to listen to our children or spouse, when it is most difficult rather than when everything seems to be going perfect. Your children may see you in this struggle, but that’s ok too. You are setting an example that life isn’t always perfect, but we adapt and do what we can.
 
Whether you are a parent or not, we all have people in our life that at times, may see us at our worst. That’s ok. The key is not to let that define you. We all fall down. We may even stay down for awhile, but don’t let guilt be the reason not to keep on trying to get back up. Those special people we have in our lives love us, whether we are at our best or at our worst. Let them love you. Don’t let guilt be the reason to turn away, but love them back however you are able.