“What matters isn't if people are good or bad.
What matters is if they're trying to be better
today than they were yesterday. “
- Michael from the TV Show The Good Place
A New year has begun and with that, a new beginning. It is the time of year for resolutions and reflections. A time when we are either cynical about all we didn’t achieve last year, or hopeful that this year will be even better. It is a time when it is easy to overwhelm ourselves with too much and become filled with discouragement, or, it can be a time of gratitude for all the little things last year gave us.
We don’t have to wait for a New Year to begin to take up a new resolution. And we certainly shouldn’t be filled with cynicism due to ways that we’ve “failed” before. After all, the only real failure is not to learn from our mistakes. As Thomas Edison said, “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
We can start by reflecting on last year. Often we look back at a year gone by and see all that we didn’t do, rather than all that we did do. We see how we only lasted until February with daily exercise or are still holding on to that extra ten pounds. We see a prayer life that we still want to improve or the family time still waiting to happen. We see the negative, and we see the New Year as a time to change it all. However, if we saw our years through God’s eyes, we would realize that it is every day that we can make a new beginning, not only once or twice a year.
A few years ago, I went through one of the worst year’s of my life. I was filled with depression, suicidal ideation, and struggled to get out of bed in the morning and appear “normal.” I gained weight, lost motivation, and by all sense and purposes, “failed.” Not only did I not meet my resolutions, but I didn’t really “achieve” anything and lost many battles. But that year was not lost. In fact, as far as achievements go it was actually one of my best years of all. I survived. I got through one day at a time and lived to tell the tale.
Every year is different, just like all of us are different. So before you decide what you may like to work on this year, take a moment to look at what you achieved last year. It might not look as big or grand as those around you, but that doesn’t make you any less successful. For me, choosing to live everyday might have been more of an accomplishment than the resolutions of international speakers, book writers, or missionaries. It was my personal struggle, and through the grace of God, I won.
The other mistake we tend to make as we begin a new year, is to unintentionally make an unattainable goal. We make a vague plan like, I am going to lose ten pounds, without making a game plan. If we do come up with a game plan, it tends to be too complicated making it easy to fail. If we try to add exercise, eating right, drinking more water, sleeping well, etc. to our healthy plan list, we are bound to fall apart somewhere. And as soon as we start to fall apart somewhere, it is easier to give up everywhere. Instead, we should use our goal as motivation, but not our overall resolution. For example, if I want to lose weight, my resolution could be to start cooking healthy twice a week. Eventually I can add three or four times a week. It may be summer before I finally have that down, but then I can add exercising once or twice a week. It may seem painfully slow, but if we try to start with EVERYTHING it will be even slower since we are more likely to stop it all.
Finally, while an overall big picture goal of a new year is great, it can also cause us to give up a few months in, as we start to “lose control.” A better goal, is to start new every day. To go to bed or wake up in the morning with a goal in mind for that day. Then, if we don’t achieve that goal, we can learn and try again not next week or next year, but once again the very next day.
We don’t grow as people overnight. It takes perseverance, but more importantly, a total reliance on God. When we realize how weak we really are, relying on God and His strength becomes easier. A New Year is a great time to reflect on the past year and consider our goals for the future, but even better is looking at every new day, reflecting on yesterday to learn from our mistakes in the moment, and to decide on ways we can be better today. We don’t have to make it complicated. As Michael from one of my favorite shows, The Good Place, says, the most important thing is that we are trying one day at a time. If we do that, we will become better people. We will become the sons and daughters of God that He has called us to be. We will become the best version of ourselves, one day at a time.